Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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