he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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