Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
