Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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