My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
