I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize