i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
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Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
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Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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