let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
