I'm pants shitting drunk right now
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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