My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
