Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
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i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
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Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it