I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This is the high leading the old right now
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.