There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
