I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.