Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
