The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
