i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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