On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Send help, water and tortillas.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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