One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
