I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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