Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
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She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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