if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
They took my balls.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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