Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
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