Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you never un-have a 4some
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
