dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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