If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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