the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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