look no pants
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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