No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
