when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize