Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
i out mim tonsoeep
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