Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.

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  (415): fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/i9c0
  Replies (22) Good night (3287) Bad night (720)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  where does the pee come out of this thing

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  (920): where does the pee come out of this thing http://tfl.nu/pebd
  Replies (13) Good night (715) Bad night (4616)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.

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  (631): She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best. http://tfl.nu/b2i1
  Replies (22) Good night (993) Bad night (4412)
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  (707): View more from California

  drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.

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  (707): drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs. http://tfl.nu/ujxz
  Replies (24) Good night (3724) Bad night (799)
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  (718): View more from New York

  We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.

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  (718): We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate. http://tfl.nu/1mwi
  Replies (14) Good night (1220) Bad night (4600)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.

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  (903): I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again. http://tfl.nu/pun6
  Replies (39) Good night (4365) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him

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  (954): My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him http://tfl.nu/f43y
  Replies (19) Good night (1482) Bad night (3167)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.

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  (617): gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist. http://tfl.nu/2uj6
  Replies (35) Good night (1246) Bad night (4434)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take

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  (208): Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take http://tfl.nu/kx00
  Replies (2) Good night (790) Bad night (397)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Post-sex nachos deserve a song.

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  (817): Post-sex nachos deserve a song. http://tfl.nu/enl8
  Replies (8) Good night (1243) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.

  (408): View more from California

  Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly

  (1-408): View more from California

  I approve this so hard.

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  (408): Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon. (408): Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly (1-408): I approve this so hard. http://tfl.nu/8gh1
  Replies (4) Good night (1244) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.

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  (636): She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet. http://tfl.nu/ogh1
  Replies (5) Good night (986) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!

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  (630): Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!! http://tfl.nu/dwug
  Replies (15) Good night (719) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.

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  (402): I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married. http://tfl.nu/ry1c
  Replies (2) Good night (250) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i realized i waste a lot of time

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  (616): i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday. (616): i realized i waste a lot of time http://tfl.nu/b26v
  Replies (0) Good night (696) Bad night (208)

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