Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.

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(703): View more from Virginia

so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010

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(416): View more from Toronto

After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(661): View more from California

Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.

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