he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
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I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
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THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...