Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon

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  (586): All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon http://tfl.nu/3qwx
  Replies (4) Good night (1144) Bad night (579)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.

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  (443): and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life. http://tfl.nu/6kb7
  Replies (8) Good night (4219) Bad night (730)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.

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  (414): Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover. http://tfl.nu/mgun
  Replies (4) Good night (3068) Bad night (901)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck

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  (503): The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/nvzw
  Replies (20) Good night (6407) Bad night (1535)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.

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  (973): i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me. http://tfl.nu/dox4
  Replies (8) Good night (3331) Bad night (924)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me

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  (330): I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me http://tfl.nu/zsgz
  Replies (2) Good night (1137) Bad night (1856)
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  (310): View more from California

  I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?

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  (310): I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me? http://tfl.nu/lgs0
  Replies (5) Good night (2525) Bad night (747)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...

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  (717): He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again... http://tfl.nu/wz8h
  Replies (8) Good night (819) Bad night (2451)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?

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  (425): Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy? http://tfl.nu/h26n
  Replies (10) Good night (1405) Bad night (714)
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  (559): View more from California

  No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.

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  (559): No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support. http://tfl.nu/kxfx
  Replies (13) Good night (706) Bad night (1451)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.

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  (865): She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise. http://tfl.nu/2xsu
  Replies (10) Good night (757) Bad night (1418)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl

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  (407): I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl http://tfl.nu/1s7i
  Replies (11) Good night (1846) Bad night (623)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I need to hump something and I know u understand.

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  (843): I need to hump something and I know u understand. http://tfl.nu/eg48
  Replies (3) Good night (1223) Bad night (529)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.

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  (712): I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex. http://tfl.nu/brxy
  Replies (3) Good night (1100) Bad night (424)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.

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  (770): They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls. http://tfl.nu/suw6
  Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (337)

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