Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.

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(864): she really just asked how mermaids reproduce. http://tfl.nu/5doz

Replies (41) Good night (3862) Bad night (956)
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(586): View more from Michigan

we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.

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(586): we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path. http://tfl.nu/fhzw

Replies (17) Good night (1158) Bad night (5288)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy

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(602): I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy http://tfl.nu/rk38

Replies (16) Good night (6675) Bad night (1289)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.

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(262): Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears. http://tfl.nu/gqzu

Replies (8) Good night (2180) Bad night (4202)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god

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(814): When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god http://tfl.nu/yzjp

Replies (3) Good night (1862) Bad night (769)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman

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(505): But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman http://tfl.nu/b7v2

Replies (6) Good night (2101) Bad night (767)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�

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(225): And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity� http://tfl.nu/rf36

Replies (1) Good night (1386) Bad night (593)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.

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(419): I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation. http://tfl.nu/t73g

Replies (2) Good night (1034) Bad night (828)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement

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(330): I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement http://tfl.nu/yzu8

Replies (1) Good night (575) Bad night (941)
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(949): View more from California

You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard

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(949): You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard http://tfl.nu/9s6s

Replies (4) Good night (738) Bad night (521)
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(707): View more from California

Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!

(720): View more from Colorado

True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.

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(707): Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas! (720): True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place. http://tfl.nu/87wy

Replies (2) Good night (841) Bad night (554)
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(813): View more from Florida

I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.

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(813): I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa. http://tfl.nu/wwaj

Replies (8) Good night (959) Bad night (474)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.

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(901): I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home. http://tfl.nu/sdsj

Replies (3) Good night (1069) Bad night (391)
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(954): View more from Florida

A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.

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(954): A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things. http://tfl.nu/ye2y

Replies (2) Good night (693) Bad night (355)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.

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(314): I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that. http://tfl.nu/pv07

Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (550)

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