he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist