I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Randomize
