At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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