Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?

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(812): How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt? http://tfl.nu/qj8s

Replies (46) Good night (5503) Bad night (1379)
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(773): View more from Illinois

not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.

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(773): not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know. http://tfl.nu/n0su

Replies (40) Good night (6118) Bad night (584)
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(330): View more from Ohio

You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions

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(330): You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions http://tfl.nu/rnwr

Replies (7) Good night (3529) Bad night (1168)
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(804): View more from Virginia

"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to

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(804): "Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to http://tfl.nu/kp09

Replies (14) Good night (4335) Bad night (1009)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it

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(973): So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it http://tfl.nu/ct20

Replies (29) Good night (5309) Bad night (1696)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution

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(703): Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution http://tfl.nu/2lwu

Replies (6) Good night (3115) Bad night (977)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library

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(404): Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library http://tfl.nu/areb

Replies (5) Good night (2175) Bad night (502)
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(469): View more from Texas

I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some

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(469): I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some http://tfl.nu/99sq

Replies (5) Good night (1901) Bad night (484)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual

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(937): Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual http://tfl.nu/83u7

Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (472)
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(469): View more from Texas

After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.

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(469): After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend. http://tfl.nu/7v59

Replies (5) Good night (1208) Bad night (425)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.

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(513): Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right. http://tfl.nu/n7uj

Replies (2) Good night (770) Bad night (504)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.

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(770): I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle. http://tfl.nu/skko

Replies (0) Good night (861) Bad night (342)
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(425): View more from Washington

So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.

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(425): So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height. http://tfl.nu/0pmh

Replies (9) Good night (591) Bad night (320)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard

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(203): Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard http://tfl.nu/pmzn

Replies (0) Good night (747) Bad night (325)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.

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(330): I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake. http://tfl.nu/lvqj

Replies (0) Good night (315) Bad night (139)

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