Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

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  (586): dear santa what can i do with your candy cane? http://tfl.nu/evo0
  Replies (2) Good night (1264) Bad night (635)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick

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  (631): i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick http://tfl.nu/rq3v
  Replies (20) Good night (1566) Bad night (1940)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.

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  (860): i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess. http://tfl.nu/ekn6
  Replies (9) Good night (967) Bad night (4937)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..

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  (515): It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now.. http://tfl.nu/43y7
  Replies (23) Good night (5633) Bad night (809)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog

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  (425): oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog http://tfl.nu/rz7h
  Replies (30) Good night (6459) Bad night (1561)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.

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  (919): dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night. http://tfl.nu/52we
  Replies (4) Good night (1203) Bad night (2115)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE

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  (612): Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE http://tfl.nu/81rr
  Replies (3) Good night (1365) Bad night (579)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.

  (585): View more from New York

  Find him and marry him.

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  (716): He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night. (585): Find him and marry him. http://tfl.nu/d6kn
  Replies (5) Good night (2432) Bad night (676)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.

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  (250): You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you. http://tfl.nu/tyfl
  Replies (10) Good night (1405) Bad night (616)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.

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  (479): Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day. http://tfl.nu/u3e4
  Replies (4) Good night (1411) Bad night (710)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I ate the most amazing corn dog today.

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I will probably dream about it.

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  (517): I ate the most amazing corn dog today. (517): I will probably dream about it. http://tfl.nu/pmjz
  Replies (4) Good night (845) Bad night (367)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew

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  (434): I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew http://tfl.nu/2v1b
  Replies (5) Good night (652) Bad night (340)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks

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  (425): If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks http://tfl.nu/pmwr
  Replies (2) Good night (666) Bad night (363)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.

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  (804): My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums. http://tfl.nu/wgt8
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (174)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix

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  (401): I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix http://tfl.nu/erqa
  Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (281)

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