I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
