Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
