ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
