Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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