Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
