All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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