NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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