do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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