I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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