The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
