New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
