Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
