i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
