So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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