She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
