Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
