Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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