whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
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All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
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You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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