Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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