and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm drive I can fine osifer
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I believe in your delicious
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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