"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
