she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize