all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
