So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
