So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
