Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Is Oprah even human
you're hired as official boob wrangler
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
